Monday, 13 August 2012


All day today I'll be washing and drying clothes and bedsheets. Changing the bedsheets and generally prepping for my trip to hospital tomorrow. I have to go to bed early as I have a 5am start and my operation should take place between 7.30-8.00am I believe. I'm hoping I can be discharged the same day but everyone seems to thing I'll be kept in overnight. I don't want to be. Hospitals are creepy at night.

I'm just having a camera inserted into my abdomen so they can try and find what's been causing my so many problems but I can't help but think it's an unnecessary operation. I've been told I could have Gilbert's Syndrome as my mum has it and the symptoms it causes match what I have, plus my bilirubin levels are really high all the time. I'm having a separate investigation for that. I don't like the idea of having an operation if I don't think it's needed and ending up with two nice stomach scars for the trouble but everyone's telling me it's a good idea 'just in case'.

I guess if I am kept in it will give me the chance to think about a few things in my life. A lot of things have gone wrong or changed into something it shouldn't be. Dreams have been shattered and I'm left feeling frustrated and hopeless of a few issues. I have tried to fix them, I really have. It's not getting any better though.

I don't mean to moan, I'm just struggling with a lot of issues at the moment. I do have my business to focus on and my cat is at least affectionate to me so I'm not totally alone.

See you later in the week.


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